Filipino Priest’s Manhood Severely Wounded After “Making Love” With An Oyster

A Filipino priest was hospitalized after his manhood suffered from deep wounds. And yes, this is because he decided to “make love” with an oyster. But still lucky for him, his frustration for flesh did not cause him hiss future. Well, just a little embarrassment that he will never forget for the rest of his life and for those who know him as servant of God.

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According to a medical staff of a known private hospital in Macabebe, Pampanga, a Catholic priest was rushed to the emergency room last Sunday night, January 7 by his driver and the church janitor The staff, who requested not to be identified, said that the priest was only wearing a boxer shorts covered with blood when he arrived.

“Akala namin, nabuhusan lang siya ng mainit na tubig si Father kasi mahilig sya maligo bago matulog. (We thought he only got burned by hot water because he loves to take a bath before sleeping.) ” Lando (not his real name), the church driver told Philippine News Courier, noting that he only learned what happened when the emergency nurse told him.

“Di nga malaman nung nars kung pano ipapaliwanag sa amin ang nangyari. Basta sabi nya, nakuha daw nila yung talaba na nakakabit sa ari ni Father. Bigla kong naalala, dumaan kami sa palengke nung umaga at nakita nyang may magandang babaeng nagtitinda ng talaba. Pinabili nya ako ng 1 kilo kasi daw matagal na syang di nakakatikim nun.” He added.

(The nurse did not know how to explain what really happened. She just said that they found the oyster stuck at Father’s manhood. Then I suddenly realized that we went to the market this morning and he saw a beautiful woman selling oysters. He asked me to buy 1 kilo, and told me that it has been a long time since he ate one.)



Lando, as well as the hospital staff refused to give us the name of the priest. Nevertheless, the church driver admitted that the woman selling oysters is not only beautiful but also tempting. “Kahit sinong lalaki, mabibighani sa kanya. (Any man will be charmed by her)” He said, noting that the priest might stay in the hospital for another 2 days.

Contributed by Cherry Luz Alcantara